Finding Passion At 38

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Finish Each Day And Be Done With It.

On Tuesday at 1pm, I called it a day.

The work day, to be specific. From the time I woke up, to 1pm, life decided to slap me around a bit. However, I was proud of myself for two reasons. One, I retained my "professional' title. I did not throw my hands in the air and say F%$# it, until my key tasks were completed. In addition, after life's face slapping, I salvaged the day and vowed not to have a Ground Hog's Day repeat. Let's go back to 3am, where it began.

3am - Woke up

I woke up disoriented due to a nightmare. I dreamt of being chased and could not find my love, my dogs or my Damascus Katanas. I attempted to fall asleep, but my love's incessant snoring and my nightmare, kept my eyes open. When I finally drifted off, I went into a deep sleep and consequently,  overslept.

7AM - Panic

I had a 9am meeting with my boss and division head. I was leading the meeting since the outcome would determine the direction of a major program I'm accountable for. After weeks of preparation, I was ready. Unfortunately, since I woke up late,  my entire routine was compromised. I skipped breakfast and coffee, only let my 14 year old incontinent dog out once and forgot to give my other dog her allergy medicine.

8:10AM - Relief, then Panic

As my Uber arrived, I relaxed. I had time to get to the meeting and could review my notes in the car. But, in my haste to get out the door, I forgot my phone. To add insult to injury, it was raining, which caused traffic to back up. Needless to say, I was late.

9:05AM- Philosophical Differences

Thankfully, my co-worker set up the room technology, so we got started as soon as I rushed in. Although, I was flustered, I knew the material. I spent hours sharpening my approach to the project and was hopeful it would be approved. Turns out, the outcome did not align with my approach. In fact, it was the opposite of what I wanted. There was universal agreement in the room, which included my management team. Fighting the outcome was futile. And honestly, I was tired of fighting a 3 year battle.

11AM - What Just Happened?

I found a secluded office, grabbed coffee and sat down to ponder my next move. All of a sudden, I felt queasy. Assuming it was caffeine related, I took a swig of coffee and instantly knew it was mistake. I barely made it to the bathroom.

12PM - Lunch and Listen

I met a good friend for lunch I had not seen in a while. We were leads on a project and found our personalities meshed. Our work relationship evolved into a friendship. He told me about the struggles he is dealing with at work. He's overworked, under appreciated and worst, left behind. His dedication and knowledge outweigh most others, but he knows where he stands. He's not perceived as "senior level material." Listening to his struggles and not being able to help, definitely impacted my mood.

1PM - I'm Done.

After lunch, I still did not feel well and headed home. Without my phone, I could not request an Uber easily. I had to request access to the mobile website to order my ride. Of course, the Uber driver got lost and called my phone. Luckily, he found me, since I stood in the pouring rain for 10 minutes waiting for him. Finally, I made it home.

Late afternoon/evening - Deal with Life

I'm not ashamed to admit I had a 60 minute venting session. Mind you, my dogs were the only living entities in the house. Once I felt better, I got to work. I knocked out my critical tasks and went to the gym. I also spent quality time with my dogs, completed chores and reflected on my day. A few things were out of my control, but I could have been better prepared. I tweaked my morning and evening routines and built in extra time to deal with unfavorable events.

Lesson Learned

It was an extremely trying day, but I made the most of it. More importantly, I made the necessary changes to ensure Ground Hog's Day remains a movie and not my life. I'm happy to report that Wednesday was a much better day.