I'm human. I have good days and bad, just like anybody else. One of my many flaws is impatience. Especially when I know what I want, but for one reason or another, I cannot have it.
For example, my ideal professional path eludes me. And on occasion, my frustration and impatience boils over into a pity party. It feels like different sides of my brain are fighting to see who will reign supreme. My frustration runneth over last week and the following pity party ensued:
Anger Rears Its Head First. "I've done the hard work. I've celebrated my successes and acknowledged my shortcomings. I finally know what I want to do, the environment I will flourish in and the value I bring to an organization. I take classes to stay current, read often and had my resume developed by experts. Not to mention, I'm still performing at a high level in my current gig. What the hell else am I supposed to do?" Note, a few choice words were removed. I'm a professional, damn it!
Gloom and Doom Wakes Up. "You waited to long to leave. Employers deem you institutionalized and incapable of bringing new skills and ideas to them. Besides, who wants an employee close to 40 years old with a health condition? You are too expensive; especially when there are countless people that have your skills. You better stay where you are and forget about your so called "passions".
The Realist Puts It In Perspective. You are applying to a select number of opportunities. You are not searching for "digital gigs" on The Muse and mass applying to jobs. You don't want a job. Remember? You want to find your next path. A path that leverages your storytelling prowess and insatiable intellectual curiosity. A path that aligns with your value set and appreciates your authenticity. A path where value = tangible progress. The path is out there, but it will take time to find.
Thankfully, I only receive an occasional invite to my pity party. To keep it in check, I've introduced gratitude declarations to my morning routine. Before I get out of bed in the morning, I declare 3 things I'm thankful for. They can be small or significant, but must be said out loud. This morning, my 3 things were:
1. Working for a stable firm. I have time to find my path, while collecting a salary and benefits. I work for a good company; my need to find a path is more about me than the organization.
2. Listening to my dog snore. My old man is 14 years old and has health issues. I know how his story will end, so I enjoy all the moments with him that I can. Including the loud ones.
3. Working from home on Mondays. I'm able to structure the day for optimal productivity. I enjoy the quiet which allows me to think first, and put out fires second. Last, I cannot stand cold weather. Since a snowstorm is brewing in my city, there is no place I'd rather be. Except Florida, and I'm working on that.